Time to be Thankful

So everyone on facebook is putting what they are thankful for each day. I decided I would just make one solid list on here. And these are in no particular order.

1. I am thankful for my parents. They have always provided a very supportive environment for me and been a fan of everything I did. They are always there for me and encourage me in everything I decide to try. And yes, they do spoil their only child, but I'm not complaining :).

2. I am thankful for Jason. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I'll take it. He is so hard working and always there for me and pushing me to push myself harder and follow anything I want to do. He is funny and loving and makes every single day better. (well most days, I mean some days he can be annoying :) ).

3. My friends. I have the best friends. I may not have a ton, but the ones I have are quality. When I was in the hospital, they were there for me and helped cheer me up and they are all supportive of the journey I've been taking and only want to see me succeed. They are fun and always making me laugh. Even the ones that are far away, I know are still rooting me on and always a phone call away for support.

4. My dog(s). Sandi makes me happy every single day. She is always happy to see me and makes me get out and go for walks and play with her. She is the best cuddler in the world and the best listener. I don't know how people live without dogs. My parents dogs also make me extremely happy and I am currently plotting on how steal them away. I also have great dogs where I work, and they are way happier to see me than my co-workers ever are. :)

5. My Job. Today everyone should be thankful that they just have one. But I actually have one that I enjoy. I have great co-workers. We laugh and play pranks and I don't mind going to work. Everyone at work was extremely supportive when I had my heart attack. They always encourage me. I was also extremely lucky to have a job that was so understand and worked with my cardiac rehab schedule and only wanted me to get better.

6. The rest of my family. From grandparents to aunts and uncles (there aren't a ton) I am very thankful for all of their love and support. My Aunt Marilyn in particular has been extremely encouraging on my healthier journey and always makes me want to succeed. She encouraged me with seeing a trainer again and helped get me started when I was lagging.

7. Jason's family. They are always there for us too, and help us out all the time. They help watch Sandi and in so many other ways. It's nice to know that if my parents couldn't be there for me, I could call his and they would be there in a heartbeat.

8. My trainer. She is so supportive and pushes me harder than I would ever push myself. I am always pleasantly suprised when I accomplish the things she asks me to do, because I would never venture that far on my own, but she knows I can do it.

9. A great place to workout. I love Blue Springs Fitness. My whole life I was too terrified to join a gym. I always thought everyone would be thin and fit and judge me for not being that way. I have not once felt judged. Everyone is friendly and says hello. The owner is great and when he read my blog, sent me the nicest and most encouraging e-mail. It's things like that that keep me going and make me believe that I can be successful.

10. My lifestyle change. I don't think I am ready to say that I am grateful for having a heart attack. But I am grateful for being healthy now and feeling so much better. The way I felt a year ago and the way I feel now is night and day difference. Exercising and eating healthy has made such a positive change in my life, and I guess it had to take something so negative to kick me into gear. (But let's not do that again, k?)

There are so many things that I am thankful for. I have a very blessed life and have been so fortunate.

No Repeats

Rosie O'Donnell was on the Dr. Oz Show recently talking about her heart attack and they said something that really kicked my butt into gear this week. They said that women who have had a heart attack are incredibly likely to have a second one within five years.

I do NOT want that to be!

I have to fight, fight, fight, every day to be healthy and make healthy decisions and work out and I do not want to be back in that hospital bed. No excuses.

Halloween has been hard. We have had candy at work and I bought candy for the house and we only had three trick or treaters. I was so bummed! So now I have tons of leftovers. I am sending it to work with Jason and putting it at my housewarming party, hopefully it will get eaten up!

I worked out with my trainer on Monday. She always makes me want to do better too. And she texts me during the week to check up on me which makes me keep going because I don't want to tell her that I didn't work out. So today I went and did another workout that she wrote for me.

I have a new guilty pleasure, the Vampire Diaries. I take my iPad to the gym and watch it while I'm jogging on the treadmill. It helps the time go by, you just have to be careful to keep your speed up and not get too involved in the show. lol.

I found a few yummy new recipes. I made this delicious funfetti cake dip. I found the recipe on pinterest. It was so good! Even Jason ate tons of it, and he normally doesn't like the "healthy" recipes I make. But funfetti cake has always been my favorite. Here is the recipe. (I'm going to make it again for my housewarming party)

I got this from a great blog, Eat Yourself Skinny. http://www.eat-yourself-skinny.com/2012/06/funfetti-dip.html

Servings: 24

Serving Size: 1/4 cup

Calories: 105

Fat: 2 g

Carbs: 20.2 g

Fiber: 0.3 g

Protein: 1.4 g

Here are your ingredients:

1 (18.9 oz) box Funfetti cake mix

2 cups fat-free plain yogurt

1 cup lite Cool Whip

Fat-free animal crackers

In a large bowl, mix together cake mix, plain yogurt and Cool Whip until completely combined and you see no more lumps.  Cover with plastic wrap and allow to chill for about 4 hours.  Garnish with additional sprinkles if desired and serve with animal crackers, enjoy!  

Very Very Good! Everyone have a great weekend!

Baseball Leg

Life seems to be so crazy these past few weeks! Jason & I moved, which has been such a task. We are finally settled in our new house and Sandi is thrilled to finally have her own yard. Everything is put away and clean, now if only it would stay that way!

With moving, (excuses excuses), I didn't make it to the gym much. Then on Sunday, we went and cleaned out our old place. We scrubbed and cleaned for almost 8 hours! Everyone who knows me knows that I am a HUGE klutz. My trainer always works on balance with me and it is much needed. Well, I really don't know what I did on Sunday but I must have bumped my knee at some point. I knew it hurt, and when i got up on the counter to put in some lightbulbs it REALLY hurt, but I still didn't pay any attention. Well Sunday night I was back at home, grabbing some clothes out of the truck when I looked down and saw that my leg was HUGE! I dropped everything and ran inside yelling at jason because I was freaking out. lol

Here is what it looked like when I first noticed it:

HUGE! So I texted a friend of mine who is a nurse and she told me to watch it closely. (Thanks Shalan!)

So anyways, I iced it all night and it was better the next morning. It is still a good size bump and a really gnarly looking bruise, but it is waaaay better. (I did call the cardiologist and check in to make sure it wasn't a blood clot and none of them were worried). My medications make me swell and bruise much easier!

But because of my leg, I couldn't work out the first few days of the week. But I went back this morning and we worked hard. I love working out with my trainer. She is just so encouraging and supportive, she is easy to talk to and be honest with and she always makes me want to do better.

So now, I have to force myself to get up before work tomorrow and go. I know I need to get in the habit of going to the gym in the mornings because with the holidays coming, I know I will come up with excuse after excuse because of working long hours, etc... But I just have to make it part of my routine and do it! Like my trainer was saying this morning, this isn't just to lose weight, this is for my life. I have to tell myself that every.single.day.

Lots of other things going on that seem to be stressful, but just gotta keep going. The Kansas City Star article was good. I thought they picked a picture where I was squinting and it only made me want to lose weight even more, lol...but it was good.

I'll end with a funny! (I'm sure my trainer would not approve of this method!)

FitBit

I got my fitbit in the mail yesterday, so far I really like it!

I got the Ultra Fitbit in pink (duh!)

So what is it? You wear it all day long (I clip it on my bra strap and don't even feel it) and it counts your steps, stairs you climb, all of your activity, your calorie burn etc.... It logs it all onto www.fitbit.com, where you can also track what you eat, workouts if you don't wear your fitbit etc... What I really like about it, is that I can sync it with myfitnesspal since I am already familiar with that website and use it frequently. It syncs my calories and what I'm eating and works together.

The coolest part for me so far is that it tracks your sleep! It let me know what percentage I slept last night, it said I woke up 21 times! I'm curious to see if that is normal or what my routine ends up being. It told me I was in bed for a little over 8 hours and got 6 hours 52 minutes of actual sleep. I find that so fascinating. They give you a wrist thing to wear it on at night and I didn't even feel it.

The reason I bought it was I had a customer tell me about how she has lost 40 pounds using this, so I thought I would give it a try.

I do have a heart rate monitor that I use when I work out, which is great for your calories and making sure you are working at your target heart rate, but it is more invasive to wear and you have to wear a big watch to go with it.

The fitbit automatically syncs anytime it is near my computer.

So hopefully it helps me out on this journey...I'm excited to see. You have this little flower that grows during the day with your activity, and it motivating.

I haven't been to the gym much this week. We have been packing to move, ugh! Soooo ready to be in the new house and setlled.

Don't forget to pick up the Kansas City Star this Sunday and check out my story in the Star Magazine. :)

Hard Day

This week I am beating myself up a bit. One of my good friends found out that her 9 year old daughter has high cholesterol. She is a super healthy, thin, active little girl. So they are making changes in their food, etc... Here I am giving all this great advice, and recommending things. How much of those am I still following? Probably less than half.

It is just so hard for me! I've gained back some of the weight that I lost. I just have NO SELF CONTROL. The other day I went to Chipotle and the whole time I'm telling myself, no chips and guac, no chips and guac. I get up to the checkout and what comes out of my mouth "chips and guac please."

I set my alarm for 6:15 every morning to get up and go to the gym. How often do I get up and go? Only when I have to meet my trainer. Granted, I still go in the evenings. But every week it seems like I have an excuse to miss days.

I really wish I could work out with my trainer 3 days a week, but I just can't afford to do more than 1 day. I can barely afford that, but know that it is necessory for my health so I just make it a priority.

I just need to get my  motivation back. If Jason would wake me every day and say hey babe let's go the gym together. I would totally jump up and go. But most mornings he is up and gone way before I'm even out of bed. It's not his fault, I just wish I had someone to really push me.

Speaking of Jason. This week he told me he has lost 18 pounds. Doing what? Oh just thinking about it apparently! lol.

Okay I'm done being down on myself. Just gotta keep trying. I ordered a Fitbit this week. I will write how that goes.

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts....

Zumbaaaa

Today is an incredibly boring day at work. I have a cold and all I want to do is go home and sleep!

I tried my first Zumba class last night. I know that I looked like an idiot, but it was a lot of fun. I can not move my hips at all and moving my feet, hips, and arms at the same time is an impossible task. But as long as you keep moving, that's what important. I was always afraid that a class like would be intimidating. But there were people there of ALL sizes and ages. It was really fun. I probably wouldn't have tried it if I hadn't gotten a friend to go with me, so thanks Trisha!

I worked out with my trainer on Monday and I am still sore! Not terribly, just a little in the legs. She has me to do so much balance and core training. We do a lot on the Bosu ball and Yoga ball. So instead of just lifting weight, I am standing on the bosu ball trying to balance myself AND lift weights at the same time. Yikes. But I'm always impressed with myself when I do it.

We did squats on Monday, on the bosu ball, holding weights.

But balance is DEFINITELY something I could use some improvement on.

I went to a really fun wedding on Saturday night, so I was also still lagging a little from having too much fun. It was so beautiful and it was like a college reunion. We danced and danced and stayed up way past my bedtime.

A week or so ago, I went to my first American Heart Association meeting for Go Red for Women. It is a really great organization and I would encourage anyone who is interested in a healthier lifestyle to visit their site for all kinds of great tips. www.goredforwomen.org.

I also talked to my work and this year on Red Friday (February 1st), since it is National Go Red for Women Day, my work is going to donate a percentage of sales to the AHA and we are going to do different promotions. This will also be 1 year to the weekend that I had my heart attack. Wasn't it very good of me to have it on Red Friday? lol.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter. Heartjourney86

And pick up the Kansas City Star on Sunday, October 14 and look for a story on me in the Star Magazine.

Sunday Funday

This week has been better. I still could have made some better decisions, but I made it to the gym and did the workouts my trainer gave me, and I finally feel like I am maybe starting to see some muscle definition come back.

It is so amazing how quickly you can get off track. I mean I had a freaking heart attack just over six months ago, and to see how quickly I can slip back into my old lifestyle is amazing. So I'm getting back on track. Working out with trainer helps sooooo much because I have someone else motivating me, and I don't want to go back and give her a bad report card!

So this week before I went to the grocery store, I made a list of meals I wanted for the next week or so. I need to get back to cooking more!

Sunday breakfast has always been mine and Jason's thing. It is our favorite meal and we usually go out. We used to go to the Big Biscuit every Sunday, but after my heart attack we have only been there maybe twice because they don't have many healthy options. So now if we go out we usually go to First Watch or somewhere like that. Yummmmm. But this morning I decided to cook at home. I made oatmeal pancakes and egg whites. It wasn't bad. Don't get me wrong, it was no buttermilk pancake. But even Jason cleaned his plate. Normally I don't use syrup, but I did use a little bit of sugar free this morning to help offset the oatmeal, lol.

This afternoon we went to the royals game. It was such a beautiful day for it. And tonight we grilled out. So double yum.

We are moving in a few weeks, so I constantly feel like I should be cleaning or packing or something productive, but I have been so exhausted all week since I got back from my work trip. Right now I'm sitting in my office with crap all around me, lol.

So here's to hopefully an even better week. Maybe I'll be brave enough to weigh myself in the morning. :)

Quickie

I will write more later, but for a quick update, I wanted to let everyone know that I finally got on board with Twitter. So if you would like to follow me, you can do so @heartjourney86

I am doing an interview with the Kansas City Star tonight, so I will also let you know when that will be up.

Things are still going great with my new trainer, can't say enough positive things about her. I was out of town all weekend, and I have got some catching up to do this week!

Oh and today only - you can help save lives with just a few clicks!

ANYTIME today, click on www.facebook.com/KCLiveTV  and click “LIKE.”  For every new Facebook fan they get today only, NBC will donate $5 do the American Heart Association, up to $2,000. 

And a funny....

Six Months & Then Some

Ugh. I haven't wanted to write in a while, because, honestly I have not been doing so hot with eating and working out.

I had my six month checkup with the doctor a few weeks ago, and it went really well. He took me off one of my blood pressure medications because I was getting light headed. So that's good! I see him again in six months, I would LOVE to have to call him before then and get off of some of my other meds. He is making me prick myself and take my blood sugar a few times a week, because he wants to know if it gets too low. So it's an icky thing for a good purpose, and hopefully won't have to do that too long.

So, after my checkup, I had a big reality check with the fact that I had not lost nearly as much weight as I had anticipated losing in six months. The doctor was happy because I was still losing, but I really wanted to have a bigger victory than that. So, after talking with my Aunt, and getting re-motivated, I decided to start working out with a personal trainer again. This time I just wanted to once a week to keep me on track, and have them give some workouts to do the other days on my own.

I decided I wanted to give personal training another go. I wanted a trainer who I could depend on and who would motivate me and help me achieve my goals. I talked with the owner of the gym I go to (Blue Springs Fitness) and he set me up with an AMAZING new trainer.

I worked out with new trainer this morning and I LOVE her. I felt like my workout was much more catered to me, she was really interested in all of my medical history, and seemed like she really knew her stuff. I don't know if it's a male/female change but I found some major differences between the person I used to work out with and am really happy.

I feel like her concern is getting me healthy and keeping me that way. She understands and wants me to make a lifestyle change and not a temporary diet. She also explained the importance of eating plenty of calories so that you are fueling your body.

Also I don't have a ton of time to spend at the gym. So she is like, you can get a lot done in a smaller amount of time, its just about maximizing it and doing things that get you the best results.  I really feel like trainer awesome (her nickname) and I are going to have some great results.

So my energy is coming back and I'm gaining more momentum. Let me tell you though, after not really working out much for several weeks and eating junk food, I noticed a huge difference. My clothes were tighter, I gained weight, I didn't have as much energy, and when I worked out this morning, it totally kicked my butt. I had to stop a few times and say hold on, which I never had to do before. It's amazing how quickly you can get out of shape if you stop your regimen.

Another important thing that I think my male trainer had a harder time with, and this trainer understands, is the emotional side of everything I'm going through and losing weight. It's a very big undertaking and a very emotional journey to lose weight. Add in my heart attack and everything I've been through, it is hard. I'm ready and willing to fight for this, but I need people around me who are going to encourage and support not just the physical journey.

Food is an emotional thing for me, and lately with lots of stress in my life, (trying to find a place to move, death of one of my boyfriend's family members, etc) I turn to food. I don't feel like going to gym, and I feel like eating more. I know this is bad, and I completely beat myself up about it. But I don't think trainer ass understands that this is something that people go through sometimes and its so hard.

They were all excuses and I used them not to eat healthy and workout - but I have to get back on track. So why not start today?

Need to get my steam back

I apologize for my failure to blog lately. I've been wanting to hit some milestones before I wrote again, but that hasn't happened yet. These past few weeks since I got back from Florida have been hard. The further away I get from my heart attack the harder it is to keep up with everything.  I'm still going to the gym but I am having a hard time getting up and going in the mornings before work, so then I feel guilty all day and like there is something I have to do, which there is. So then I go deter work, but by the time I get home it's after 7 or 8 and I don't really feel like cooking dinner, so we have been eating out more often.  I really wanted to hit 26 pounds by my 26th birthday, and disappointingly that did not happen, but I've just got to stick with it and get my motivation back up.  My birthday was good. It was really fun. We went to the new aquarium at crown center and it was neat. Not something I need to see over and over again, but nice to see none the less. We ate lunch at my favorite pizza place and then Jason took me out for my favorite Mexican for dinner. I have not eaten very healthy this week. We went out last night with friends and it was really fun, although I think I am too old to stay out that late. I did not feel very well today.  Well hopefully I will have some good weight loss news soon, I see the doctor for my checkup in a few weeks, too! 

Vacation

Back from a Florida vacation! It was a blast, we went for my Aunt's wedding and it all turned out amazing.

I finished up my personal training last week before I left. Overall, I would grade it a solid C. My last day was supposed to be the Friday before I left, but I showed up and my trainer never did. I didn't hear from him until about noon that day after I had texted him a few times, and he said we would reschedule for Monday, and then he was going to give me two free sessions because he canceled on me so many times. So we worked out Monday and that was good. Then he canceled on me both Tuesday & Wednesday mornings. So, those sessions didn't really work out. I would say over the whole 12 sessions I paid for, he probably canceled and rescheduled at least 5 times. I don't really mind rescheduling, but there were several times I showed up and didn't hear from him until well after designated times. Other times, I would get a text right before I was leaving the house to go.

I really like him as a person, and I really like the way he markets his company and the workouts were great. I just think he has some things to work out. I found it incredibly frustrating trying to get together with him. He just had his first baby, and I'm not denying that that is hard, but new dads aren't calling in to work everyday all over the country. I have to work 4-5 hours to pay for 1 hour of his time. I was also a little frustrated, because a lot during our sessions he would be on his phone or texting. There was also one time, I showed up for my session and he was training another person at the same time. He offers group sessions, but I was paying for individual and so I paid him the full price for that session and did not get all the attention. Now, there was one time when I requested that someone else work out with us, It was a woman I had really been wanting to meet and that was great. I just felt weird about not even being warned and just expecting that it was okay. I was pretty shocked when I showed up. Like I said, for almost $50 an hour, I just feel that all of your attention should be on who you are training. I certainly don't get paid $50/hour.

So, since he canceled Wednesday, I decided to do weights on my own and I did really well! I even went into what I call the big boy weight room and did squats on the machines. I was pretty sore the next day, but it was good that I knew what to do with the machines and how to do them safely. That was my main goal from training was to learn how to use the gym and feel confident on my own. So, that goal was definitely accomplished.

Now to vacation time....

It was wonderful. The weather was great. The wedding was perfect. It was really fun. My grandparents live in Naples, FL, so my Aunt decided to get married there at the Ritz Carlton. We left Thursday morning and came back Sunday.

I ate so much more than I have been. My stomach was not happy. I felt really bad one day and I know it was because I was putting all this junk in my body again. My body is so confused, junk, healthy, junk. LOL. It reminded me of how I used to feel all the time, and I did not like it.

So now its back to healthy menu and back to the gym. Somehow I still managed to lose 2.5 lbs last week. We'll see if it catches up to me this week.

The wedding was so fun. They got married on the terrace at the Ritz and it was beautiful. Right when they said I do, thunder cracked and a downpour began but at least we got the ceremony through before that! We then went into a private dining room and ate a huge meal. It was delicious! Halfway through the fire alarm went off and the entire Ritz had to evacuate! It was lots to laugh about. It was so great to see my Aunt so happy!

Here are some pictures from the trip!

Pumping & Squeezing

Yesterday was a big day! I had my echo cardiogram which I was nervous about because it is the test that will tell me if there was any damage from my heart attack and if my heart is doing okay.

They just called with the results and everything is good! She said my heart is pumping and squeezing as it should and there are no valve issues! Woo hoo! That is a HUGE relief.

I also chatted with the nurse a little bit, because lately I have been getting light headed every now and then when I stand up. It kept happening a week or so ago and I took my blood pressure and it was 100/68. I asked her if that was low and she said its right on the borderline, if it drops into the 90s I definitely need to call. But she said that since I'm losing weight, etc...we may need to adjust my meds and lower them. So that would be amazing because one of my main goals is to get off a lot of these medications!

After I did that yesterday, I went to the gym to workout with my trainer. This is my last week. I'm a little nervous because after this week I will be totally on my own. Up until now I have constantly had someone to be held accountable to, from rehab to training. But now its just me, so gotta keep it up!

I worked out with someone yesterday who is super motivating though! She works with my trainer and writes a blog as well, her journey is really inspiring. You can read it at http://gfitkc.com/category/real-life-loser/. It was nice to be able to chat and it really made the workout fly by. She has completely changed her life as well with how she eats and working out, so it makes me feel like yeah I can do this too!

Last night I made a really yummy salsa recipe that my Mom sent me. I'll copy it below. I also made my own tortilla chips which was SUPER easy. I just bought some corn tortillas, lightly brushed them with extra virgin olive oil, cut them into eighths and lightly salted them, then I baked them at 350 degrees for about 10-15 minutes. Keep an eye on them though, because they burn quickly! Even Jason approved.

I just got two dresses in the mail to try on for my Aunt's wedding, they are two different sizes, so I'm hoping one of them works! It's always fun to buy new clothes (if they fit!).

So until I go to Florida, I'm trying to be more strict with myself. It's been awhile now since I've really lost weight. My trainer researched my meds and there is one we think is not helping the cause, but we also talked about how even though I'm doing cardio 5-6 days a week, I may not be getting my heart rate high enough. I was taking my Ipad and reading while I worked out but I think that was slowing me down. So I'm trying to work a little harder.

I also have not been being as good with food as I should. I definitely still eat waaaay better, and I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself. When I eat something not so great, I beat myself up about it, so I just need to be better with portion control. But I went to the store Friday night and planned out some meals for this week.

I've been looking for a way to show weight I've lost without posting pictures of myself (sorry, still insecure here) and I finally found an idea I liked on pinterest, so I'm copying it! The funny thing is, the images on pinterest had the glass things mostly filled so I bought big ones and once I filled them, I was like oh, I probably could have gone with slightly smaller. But its nice motivation to see and want to move the glass beads from one to the other (one direction only!). So here's where I sit currently.

Here is the salsa recipe and the link where it came from! She has other things on her blog that look yummy too!

You can change ingredients as desires, I didn't put Cilantro in mine.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/01/restaurant-style-salsa/

Ingredients

• 1 can (28 Ounce) Whole Tomatoes With Juice
• 2 cans (10 Ounce) Rotel (diced Tomatoes And Green Chilies)
• 1/4 cup Chopped Onion
• 1 clove Garlic, Minced
• 1 whole Jalapeno, Quartered And Sliced Thin
• 1/4 teaspoon Sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon Salt
• 1/4 teaspoon Ground Cumin
• 1/2 cup Cilantro (more To Taste!)
• 1/2 whole Lime Juice

Preparation Instructions

Note: this is a very large batch. Recommend using a 12-cup food processor, or you can process the ingredients in batches and then mix everything together in a large mixing bowl.

Combine whole tomatoes, Rotel, onion, jalapeno, garlic, sugar, salt, cumin, lime juice, and cilantro in a blender or food processor. Pulse until you get the salsa to the consistency you'd like---I do about 10 to 15 pulses. Test seasonings with a tortilla chip and adjust as needed.

Refrigerate salsa for at least an hour. Serve with tortilla chips or cheese nachos.

Posted by Ree on January 27 2010

Struggles

I love food.

Food has been the hardest part of ALL of this for me. I haven't gotten used to the working out, in fact I (mostly) look forward to working out, I like the way I feel and it gives me time to read and think and be by myself. But I am having a hard time with food and self control. I'm good with cooking healthy, and I bring my lunch most every day to work. But we still eat out way too much for dinner. And my favorite thing to eat out is Mexican food. When they put those chips in front of me, I just can't resist myself!! I have trouble stopping and I have trouble saying no to these kinds of things. My trainer suggested I order a salad while everyone is munching on chips, but quite frankly, I don't wanna!

So, I am still working on my issues with food. I have come a long way, but I have a long way to go.

It has definitely slowed down my weight loss progress. The first pounds were easy to lose, but now, even with going to the gym and working with a trainer, I just seem to be yo-yoing in this same area. I want to beat it sooooo bad and I just have to remind myself of that every single time I go to eat!

I'm going to do it though!

On a positive note, I don't know if I have posted about all the changes I've seen just in what weight loss I have had, but it really is life changing. Granted, much of my feeling better is because my heart is pumping the way that it should and I am much healthier. But, my clothes are loose, I have more energy during the day, and I sleep great at night. I used to lie in bed forever trying to fall asleep and I would wake up all night long on and off. I for the most part, sleep through the night now and it feels great. I don't have nearly as hard a time waking up at 6 to go work out as I would have several months ago (don't get me wrong, I'm still not thrilled). But man, when 9:00 rolls around, I am ready for bed!

I used to ALWAYS feel bad, I didn't realize it until I felt so good. I had headaches, stomach aches (no doubt the way I was eating), I just always felt blah and tired. It's so crazy to me now, I can't believe I lived like that. I rarely have any of those things now and its just so nice.

Things with the trainer are going well. We are doing lots of different exercises and I feel like I will be really educated when we are done. We usually do arms one day, legs another, and lots of abs inbetween. So far the hardest things has been planks. I HATE THEM. They make me sore and they are incredibly hard. Especially side planks.

 She makes it look so easy.


Here's to pushing through the hard times and not eating through them!!!

Graduate

Well I graduated from cardiac rehab last Friday. Woo hoo! I really enjoyed the experience overall, and everybody was so nice and friendly, but I am definitely glad to be done. I am stick of putting those stickies on me so often for the heart monitor, and it does get a little depressing talking about medical stuff all the time.

So by the time I was done with rehab, I lost a total of 18 lbs. It feels great! Still trying not to buying new clothes, just wearing belts and wearing some jeans and pants I haven't been able to fit in for awhile, which is a great feeling.

I didn't work out with my trainer last week and didn't feel like I did all that great. For some reason, he thought being at the birth of his first born child was more important that working out with me :). hehe. He sent me a picture of the new baby and it is of course, adorable.

So we started back up today and I have a feeling my arms are going to be really sore tomorrow. It got really hard lifting the weights, but I did it without complaining. We do lots and lots of abs. Gotta get ready for Florida this summer!

Okay well must work now. Going to the royals game tomorrow, so that should be fun. Trainer told me to eat sunflower seeds. :( lol.

I work out!

Things are getting harder to keep up with. My initial momentum is lacking, and I have found it easy to slip back into old habits. Several times I have found myself thinking, "just this once, I'll be better later". Granted, you are always (well i am always) going to have a not great meal or make a bad choice at some point, it is just doing it in moderation. I am still eating way better, but several bad decisions in a row did make me feel guilty!

I have been working with a personal trainer for the past few weeks. Trying to work past my plateau. I really like it. We do arms one day and legs the other. I much prefer arm day! Last week, after our first leg day, I did not walk normal again until at least 4 days later. I have never been so sore in my entire life. Yes, its a good feeling, but I could barely move. Everyone at work was laughing as I would try to hobble around the store. The giant stairwell in my house was amusing as well. We did legs again today, and I'm already able to tell I will be sore tomorrow, but hopefully a little less :/.

The personal trainer gave me a diet to follow. He wants me to eat the EXACT same thing every single day for two weeks. That really isn't happening.... I'm following it pretty well, but am making some substitutions of things with similar calories etc...

I do enjoy learning what to do at the gym. He's teaching me how to do the machines and the kind of workouts I should be doing. It makes me more confident in the gym and I feel better about getting a total body workout.

He had me buy a protein shake mix. I always laughed at those giant tubs that muscle guys drink. So, I gave in and bought one in a chocolate flavor and the first day I just shook it up with milk. GROSS! I could barely get that thing down. It was nasty. I did some research and chatted with others who drink them and decided I needed to make it more of a smoothie. So for day two, I blended it with ice and peanut butter and it was really quite tasty. No milkshake, but definitely drinkable.

This weekend we have a house party to attend, and a graduation party on Sunday. Busy busy! My friend Whitney is coming in to visit from LA next week, so I am really looking forward to seeing her!

Okay well I am an old lady and it is past my bedtime. Goodnight all!

Plateau

I apologize for my poor blogging skills. I need to keep up better.

I haven't been very good this weekend. Jason and I ate at Longhorn Saturday night, but boy oh boy was it delicious. I have been frustrated with my weight plateau lately, this surely didn't help! lol.

I am just struggling to get past these few pounds. But Sunday, Jason and I joined a gym so hopefully that will give me the extra push that I need. I was planning on joining when I'm done with rehab. I still have 4 weeks left, but I just don't really feel like I get as good of a workout on my off days at home. So this will be a better way to get a more intense workout and hopefully get to back to shedding some pounds. Especially since I just found out I will be getting to go to Florida in a few months! It would be wonderful to be wearing smaller sizes for that!

I am wearing pants that I haven't fit into for awhile, but I'm still not buying new clothes. Luckily, a good friend gave me some old clothes of hers for work so that I don't have to buy much in my inbetween stages. I hate to spend the money when it isn't really where I want to end up.

I have been discovering some great new foods. I really like morningstar. They make veggie corndogs, hotdogs, burgers, etc... They are really good! The corndog tastes just like a regular corndog (you can't look at the color though). I grilled some of their burgers for Jason and I on the George Foreman last week and even he said it wasn't bad! The corndogs are only like 150 calories and the veggie burgers aren't bad either.

I also discovered some high fiber muffin tops I like by Vitalicious. They are pretty yummy, not a brownie, but still gives me my chocolate fix and they are 100 calories with 9 grams of fiber so they keep you really full.

I bought some high fiber oatmeal, yuck. It was like paste. I've never really been into oatmeal anyways but thought I would give it a try. I got about half way through my bowl.

Rehab is going good. I have nicknamed most of my fellow re-habbers. I've got a grumpy, a stinky, a know it all and many more. Know it all really likes to talk. The other day he kept going on and on about how if I would just slow down in my workout my heart rate wouldn't go up and your blood pressure would stay the same. I think he missed the class when we talked about exercise. LOL. But they are all pretty nice, well except for grumpy. He REALLY does not want to be there. His nickname was up in the air between loafers too so maybe if he gets friendly it will switch to that. I just can't imagine loafers being that comfortable to work out in, but what do I know. Less than 4 weeks left of rehab and I'm out on my own!

When I was looking at gym's to join, I was discussing different local ones with my coworkers and one person told me that she left the YMCA because everytime she was working out she was working out next to old people. LOL. Maybe I should have gone there, I would have felt right at home. :)

Let's hope for a push through this plateau next time!

What to Eat?

I have been a bad blogger lately. I just haven't had much to update.

I've been doing good, I saw the cardiologist on Monday. My blood work came back and my cholesterol has come down from when I was in the hospital, but it is still high, so I just have to keep working on that. They had me double my fish oil per day.

When they did the echo of my heart when I was in the hospital there was a portion of my heart that wasn't beating as fast as it should because of what had been blocked. So I will go in June and get another echo done to look and see if that is okay or if it is still damaged. Hopefully all goes well there.

I have lost around 15 lbs. The weight loss is slowing down but I am still working really hard. I have been exercising 6 days a week and eating good. It's a long road, but I am feeling way better and my clothes are looser so that is good.

Tonight, we are going to the Mavericks game and I was wondering what I could eat. Before I would have eaten a hot dog and nachos or a pretzel. Boy was I shocked when I looked those things up. Nachos have over 1500 calories, more than I've been eating in an entire day!

I found a really good article on making better choices at places like that. http://www.active.com/nutrition/Articles/The_Diet_Detective__Eating_at_the_stadium.htm.

I just have a little bit of time since I'm on my lunch break but will try to update more later.

Fame

Hello all!

I have been teasing my boyfriend about how famous I am since my news appearance. Just what I always hoped I would be famous for! :)

Overall, I am pleased with how the story went. I could sit and critique the way I look all day, but I have heard lots of encouraging words and that means a lot. I think seeing myself on the news made things hit a little harder. Sometimes I think I push back the gravity of what actually happened to me. I feel so much better and so it's easy to think it wasn't such a big deal. For those who watched it online, I felt like his sentence "Dr. Dunker said that Carly had 3 of the 5 biggest risks for heart attack. They are; diabetes, family history of heart problems, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and smoking." was kind of confusing. For the record, the 3 risk factors I had were family history, high blood pressure, and I am insulin resistant (diabetes). I do not smoke, my cholesterol was just on the border to being high. They said it was okay for a normal person but for someone with my other risk factors it needs to be lower.

Last week I went to rehab at a different time than normal and this woman was there while her husband was doing his program. She just kept staring at me. She asked me my situation and I spoke with her but even the rest of the time she just kept staring like she was going to burst into tears. At the end she apologized for staring, that she just couldn't believe I was facing all of this so young. It's things like that that make me a little bit sadder. I don't want to be seen as someone to take pity on. I just want to get healthy and get to live a long healthy life like a lot of other people. Each day is a different emotion.

On a happier note, I have lost 13 lbs! I absolutely love getting on the scale and seeing the numbers going down. My clothes are fitting looser too. I am waiting until I have lost more weight to shop, I already have lots of clothes for the way down. :)

I have had the past four days off. It's been nice, I wish I had money to go on an actual vacation, I didn't really do much. On Saturday, Sandi and I went to the park by my house and walked for about 40 minutes or so. She got tired way before me. Although it was an extra workout tugging on her leash and pulling her away from other dogs and kids.

I made some yummy barbecue chicken the other night from that same cookbook I talked about before. We grilled it and it was delicious, even Jason really liked it. Last night I made some spinach manicotti. I wasn't as big of a fan of that, Jason thought it was good minus the spinach. I think maybe it was a little spicy for me (the recipe used salsa). Food is getting easier to eat healthy though and I'm not craving the junk food like I was at first. It's been over a month since I have had a chicken finger, and for those who know me, they know that is a huge accomplishment in itself! :)

Off to bed, back to work tomorrow.

Local woman in her 20s proves heart attacks are not age-specific

Local woman in her 20s proves heart attacks are not age-specific

Recipe

Two posts in one day! I made the yummiest recipe for dinner tonight and thought I would share. It's from a great cookbook called guilt free cooking that my mom sent me. It has tons of recipes and lots of pictures, which I love. Amazon has the book for $7, here is the link; http://www.amazon.com/Taste-Home-Cooking-Recipes-Healthier/dp/B002IKLO1Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331002869&sr=8-1.

So, tonight I made the chicken cordon bleu. I am taking the picture from the book, mine did not turn out looking so neat and pretty, but it was still yummy!

Ingredients:

8 boneless skinless chicken breast halves (4 oz each) - *I bought the chicken breast tenderloins they weren't quite 4 oz but I just used less cheese on each*

1/2 teaspoon pepper

8 slices lean deli ham *I used the reduced sodium deli ham*

1-1/2 cups shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

2/3 cup skim milk

1 cup crushed cornflakes

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

SAUCE:

1 can healthy choice condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted

1/2 cup fat-free sour cream

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1. Flatten chicken to 1/4-in thickness. Sprinkle with pepper; place a ham slice and 3 tablespoons of cheese down the center of each piece. Roll up and tuck in ends; secure with toothpicks. Pour milk into a shallow bowl. In another bowl, combine the cornflakes, paprika, garlic powder, and salt. Dip chicken in milk, then roll in crumbs.

2. Place in a 13-in x 9-in baking dish coated with cooking spray. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until juices run clear.

3. Meanwhile in a small saucepan, whisk the soup, sour cream, and lemon juice until blended; heat through. Discard toothpicks from chicken; serve with sauce.

Here are the nutritional facts:

(serving is 1 chicken breast half with 2 tablespoons of sauce)

calories: 306
fat: 7 g
saturated fat: 3 g
cholesterol: 91 mg
sodium: 990 mg
carbohydrate: 16 g
protein: 41 g

Jason loved it too - and he is not much of a chicken person. I served ours with green beans and whole wheat couscous.

Enjoy!

St. Mary's

The Gala went great! It was a lot of fun, and I'm so glad a few of my friends could be there to support me. I really liked my dress, and Jason always looks great in a tux! :)

The speech went well. I was really nervous but after reading for a moment or two, I calmed down. Cara took video on my phone, but I'm not sure I'm ready to watch yet. I am going to copy my speech below for anyone who is interested in reading it. It was more focused on the care I received, then what happened to me (as it was a fundraiser for St. Mary's).

After the gala, we changed and went downtown with some friends to watch some bluegrass. Not something we normally do, but it was fun! I had a glass of red wine at dinner, but this was my first time really being out and not being allowed to drink. I was tired, and wished I could have another drink or two to loosen up and have fun with everyone, but it was still a good time.

Yesterday, we got invited to a friends house for dinner. They were grilling hot dogs and brats. Obviously, not really great for you at all. But they said we should bring whatever, so I made up some really lean hamburger patties and got some whole wheat buns and we grilled those too, so I could eat a little better. I just ate small amounts of the side dishes she made. It was really fun. They have a little baby who is crawling around, so she was fun to play with.

I lost another pound over the weekend, haven't weighed myself today, but so far 11.5 lbs down. I may have said that in the last post, I can't remember. :)

So here is my speech for those interested. (The last paragraph was what they needed me to say to start the part where people give money, lol) Oh, and I know I will hear about it if I don't give her her royalties, so my friend Sarah helped me with A LOT of editing. Thanks Sarah!

Prior to a month ago, my experience with St. Mary's Medical Center was limited to several waiting room visits for my accident prone boyfriend. I really didn’t know much about the hospital or their facilities, and couldn’t imagine I would need to. Exactly one month ago today, that all changed.

I woke up on February 3rd with a fierce upper back pain unlike anything I've felt before. I didn’t know what was causing it, but luckily I listened to my body and went to the St. Mary’s Emergency Room. I was quickly admitted and seen by the doctor who didn't dismiss any of my symptoms, as I felt several physicians had over the years. As much as I hoped it was just a muscle pain, they wanted to be safe and promptly performed an EKG. As it turned out, I was having a heart attack at age 25.

Everyone sprang into action after seeing the abnormal EKG. I was moved and hooked up to monitors and immediately taken for a MRI. They sent me into the cardiac cath lab to have two stents placed in my right coronary artery. I was terrified. The staff in the cath lab was there to talk to me about what was going on and did their best to put me at ease. They spoke to me the entire time and also kept my family informed about my progress. They never gave me the chance to think anything other than that I was going to be okay. I had no idea St. Mary’s had the technology they do. The cath lab was state of the art and I never doubted the care I was receiving. It’s hard to believe, but even after having a heart attack the staff had me laughing.

I spent two more days at St. Mary's and experienced multiple nurses and doctors. They were there for everything I needed. As shocked as everyone was to walk into a heart patient’s room and see a 25 year old female, they were great about explaining my condition. They not only took care of me physically, but prepared me for the emotional journey ahead. The healthcare team was there to answer all of my questions and concerns. The communication between patient, nurse, doctor, and staff was something to be extremely proud of.

Cardiac rehab visited me in my room, showed me a video, and educated me on exactly what happened in my body and the changes I should make in my life to get better. They shared with me the importance of rehab and how they would get me on track to a long healthy life. I’ve been participating in their program for two weeks now, and feel like I am gaining the knowledge to take control over my heart disease. For the first time in my life, I look forward to a workout, and am already seeing the progress that a healthy lifestyle can provide. They have made me feel so comfortable, and I know that they genuinely care. The cardiac staff is only giving me the option for success.

I finally feel in control of my health and am excited about the future I can have. I am gaining the tools to live a full and active life, despite having heart disease at such a young age. I cannot thank St. Mary’s enough for giving me so much hope for my future.

This hospital saved my life and now I feel like I have another family and support team. We are so fortunate to have St. Mary’s Medical Center in our community to handle unique & critical situations like mine. For them to be able to provide these kinds of services, they must have vital state of the art equipment to be able to treat patients with the highest quality of care…like they did for me. I am asking each of you to consider making a gift to the fund-a-need tonight and to help make it possible for St. Mary’s to continue their quality & compassionate care.

Some pics from the night...

Still Going Strong

In my second week of rehab, and other than the waking up at 630 am to get there at 7, I'm really enjoying it. It's nice to have a support team on getting better. I'm actually liking the exercise too, I'm starting to feel like I have more energy.

I haven't dropped many more pounds as far as the scale goes, but I think I am seeing some differences in how things are fitting. People are saying my face looks thinner. Who knows, but its always nice to hear!

I really really really love the app myfitnesspal. You can use it on your phone, ipad, or online. I use it on all three! It makes it really easy to keep track of what you are eating and your exercise and it feels good to log on and see positive comments and progress. It has almost every food pre-programmed so it is so easy to look up food before I go out to eat and check it all.

The best thing about it, is that it helps me see the whole picture. I am finding it so frustrating to eat healthy at times, because even though things are advertised as healthy, I am finding they are not. They may be low in calories or fat, but then they are high in sugars, cholesterol, sodium, and all the other things I have to watch. So, even in the grocery store, I'm having to look at the whole package when they say something is healthy or light.

I have found some foods out I really like. Applebee's has a new menu item on the weight watchers menu, the creamy Parmesan chicken and it was delicious! I think breakfast has been the easiest to substitute healthy things for since I can get egg substitute or egg whites.

I'm finally getting to the point where I am not constantly craving junk. We got chinese food at work yesterday, and I barely ate any, but I still felt gross after eating it from the grease and the guilt. :)

This weekend I am speaking at the St. Mary's Butterfly Ball about my experience there. I am kind of nervous but also looking forward to it. I found a new dress and Jason got fitted for his tuxedo. We don't have many occasions to dress up for. My work has a table so there will be friends there to support me and I'm happy about that.

Wish me luck!

Rehab

Today was my first day of rehab! I was actually pretty excited to go because I am ready to start working out and losing weight.

I was probably a good twenty plus years younger than every person in there. Everyone was very friendly and I got lots of hmmmm looks from the other patients. There was one woman who was new too and she had a big scar on her chest, so I can't even imagine what she just went through and am very thankful mine was not that bad!

I felt really good the whole time. My blood pressure stayed good. They start you off with stretches, and some with weights. Then I did ten minutes on the exercise bike, ten minutes on the treadmill, and 6 minutes on a climber thing. They add two minutes a day until you reach twenty on the bike and treadmill and 10 on the climber. I felt good the whole time, like I probably could have worked out a little bit harder and been okay.

This morning I had breakfast out with my dad at Bob Evans. At restaurants, I've been getting egg substitute and fruit, etc... It was pretty yummy. Mexican food is what I miss most. I used to eat it at least once a week at restaurants. My favorite is cheesy nachos, or a steak burrito covered in white cheese sauce. This weekend, I was really craving it, so I had some. Instead of beef, I got a chicken taco and actually ate lettuce on it, it was actually really good and fulfilled my craving. Still a higher sodium and not great meal, but on a rare occasion, a good way to make a slightly healthier decision!

Ten pounds done...lots to go!!!

Good Check Up

Well I went back to work this week and today was my first day off.

It was nice to get out of the house and be around everybody again. Especially for Valentine's Day. i like watching all the men pick out gifts for their significant others! I had a nice Valentine's Day myself. Jason bought me the perfume I had been wanting and we went and got 54th Street to go. I got the chicken and rice platter with veggies. It was really pretty yummy. It was on their healthy dining menu and I just requested it with no additional salt.

I got pretty tired of cereal for breakfast this week. One morning I got a plain egg mcmuffin from McDonald's which was on my healthier list. It was pretty yummy. Not quite as good as the egg and cheese biscuit I used to get, but a good healthier substitute.

I have brought my lunch to work every day this week which for me is a huge accomplishment! Jason and I are really bad about eating leftovers normally, so I have been making lunches out of them. One night this week I made a really yummy chicken recipe with honey and teriyaki sauce. It was really good if you like sweet stuff.

Had my first follow up with the cardiologist this morning and everything was good. They did an EKG and everything went good. She said that I can start returning to normal life as much as I feel like I can. They will do another echo to look at my heart in a few months and I will do some bloodwork to see how the medicines are effecting my organs.

Monday I will start cardiac rehab. I am actually kind of looking forward to it. I am ready to lose weight and feel better and really see results. I think this is a great way to get started. Especially since I want to get in the habit of exercising before work, this will have me getting up early (have to be there at 7) and get started. I will do that three times a week for 6-8 weeks.

This week I have done some minor exercising. We got an exercise bike from my parents (thanks Mom & Dad!), so I started out with 15 minutes and have been working my way up. Today was so beautiful outside, so Sandi and I went on a walk so we could both get a little exercise. Now she is passed out. :)

That is all to report for now. Again, thank you to my wonderful friends and family for being so supportive and making me feel so good and positive about making lifestyle changes!

Thank You

Thank you to everyone for their overwhelmingly positive response to me writing about my journey. It gives me a lot of encouragement and makes me feel like I can really do this!

I need to also say thank you to my amazing friends and family who have been there for me for the past week. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life who care so much about me. I am a very lucky girl in lots of ways.

I am getting a little bored at home, I will definitely be ready to go back to work on Monday and get out and about. Jason and I ran a quick errand to Walgreens the other night, and then we stopped and got some dinner. My first meal out! I was able to pull up the menu from chic-fil-a on my phone before we went and figure out a healthy option. So, I had a plain grilled chicken sandwich and a fruit cup. The sandwich is nothing I will be running back for, but it was okay. Boy did I want to rip Jason's french fries out of his hand!

Yesterday, Jason's step-mom, Barb, brought us a pork roast, (Thank you!). So last night's dinner I think was my favorite so far. We had the roast, a small baked potato, and green beans. It was yummy. Luckily, I have leftovers! I went through a bunch of recipe books that I have from weight watchers and other things and marked recipes to try, so soon there will be a trip to the grocery store.

So far, I have lost 8.5 lbs, probably mostly from being in the hospital, but hey we are on the way. I'm feeling pretty good overall. The wound where they went in to do the cath is sore, and my back is hurting from laying around so much.

And just for smiles...here is Sandi, she has been taking good care of Mommy!

Journey from a broken heart

My name is Carly. I am twenty-five years old and live in the Kansas City area. I like to think that I lead a pretty typical twenty-something lifestyle. I work in a jewelry store and handle a lot of the marketing and web stuff as well as work customer service. I have been with my boyfriend Jason, for about 4 and a half years and we live together with our dog Sandi.

I love to read, write, see movies, listen to music, and spend lots of time socializing with friends and family.

I also love food. I have felt like it controlled a portion of my life for a long time now. We joke at work that our most difficult decision of the day is deciding what to eat for lunch.

On February 3, 2012, my entire life was changed when I had a heart attack.

Here is my story...

When i was around 13, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome and insulin resistance. I was warned that this would increase my chances of heart disease and I needed to eat healthy and exercise to prevent further problems from these diseases. For a (short) while, I tried to eat healthy and lead a healthy lifestyle, but being a teenager took over. Even though I almost felt guilty after eating, I ate what I wanted, and rarely exercised. All of my friends and family have always teased about my love of chicken fingers. I ordered them almost everywhere I went, (Longhorn has the best in my opinion, I was in fact a connoisseur of chicken fingers) and we ate out a lot!

I often thought and worried about my health and as I got older, developed a lot of anxiety with my worries. However, food always won. After some meals, I would feel guilty and worry myself sick with anxiety about what could happen to me.

I have a family history filled with heart disease. My grandfather has had a stent put in, my grandmother triple bypass surgery. My Mom had a stent put it about six years ago, my uncle passed away from heart disease, and my grandmother on my father's side had a heart attack just a few weeks before me.

Knowing all of this only increased my anxiety. I hate thinking about it. I don't like medical shows, ignore billboards and ads for health related things, and hate hearing about anything medical related. Several years ago, I attended a Go Red for Women event while working at Macy's. The speaker was a young woman who had experienced either a heart attack or stroke, and I actually found an excuse to get up and leave during her speech because it scared me so much.

Despite all of this, and my constant worrying, like I said, food always won. I was even scared to exercise (or so I told myself), but I couldn't seem to get a grip on my life and weight. I refuse to share my feelings with anyone and would blow off my mother every time she expressed worry or concern about my lifestyle.

I think for awhile I have known that something was not right, but was always too scared to bring it up to a doctor, for the fact that they might confirm my suspicions. I would occasionally experience chest pain, but it was fleeting and quick and I would always attribute it to anxiety or stress. I had an excuse for anything I ever felt. I would tire quickly, and could sleep in well past my alarm on a daily basis (I don't even have to be at work until 9:30). There were several times I got overheated to the point of feeling like I was going to pass out. I was always embarrassed when these attacks occurred but attributed them once again to anxiety. The anxiety is not gone, but I think once I continue on my heart health journey, I will see how many of these things were probably more related to being unhealthy.

I was always thinking about what I was going to eat next. When I was alone, I could go and get whatever takeout I wanted. I ate out numerous times a week whether socializing with a friend, or grabbing food for my boyfriend and I because I didn't want to cook. Every meal had to be delicious, had to be what I was craving.

So, on Friday, February 3, 2012, it all came crashing down. As the doctor put it, the bomb went off.

Thursday night, I attended a comedy show at the Sprint Center (Jeff Dunham was hilarious). I got home shortly before midnight and felt like I had an upset stomach. I went to bed and fell asleep quickly. Around 2:00AM I woke up feeling like I was going to be sick. As soon as I got up anxiety hit. I was hot from head to toe and felt like my legs were turning to jelly. I jumped back in bed and woke up my boyfriend, who got my some cold towels for my head. I calmed down shortly and fell back asleep. I woke up again about 4:00am this time with a blinding pain in between my shoulder blades. It hurt through to my chest and I began freaking out. I woke Jason up who told me to breathe and try to relax. He rubbed my back for me, but no matter what he did it continued to hurt no matter where I laid. I thought I was having bad indigestion so I took an acid pill and some ibuprofen. I gave myself 15 minutes to see if the pain relaxed then I was going to go to the hospital. One hour later, I was still in pain. I kept thinking it would go away but it didn't. Poor Jason was rubbing my back and doing whatever he could to ease my pain. For a brief moment, I thought I was feeling better and decided to shower for work. By the end of the shower, I was in enough pain I knew I had to go to the hospital.

Jason took me to the ER, even when I got there, I almost had him turn around and take me home. But I thought, no I am here. I am sure I am fine, but it won't hurt to have a doctor tell me so. They took their time getting me to a room and then a doctor came and saw me. I explained my symptoms and he told me it was most likely muscular pain from sleeping weird but since I was there they would give me an EKG. The nurse came in with vicodin and immediately after swallowing I began vomiting. Jason thought for sure after that I would feel better and that everything was okay.

Then they did the EKG....

The EKG technician, definitely could have used a better poker face. After doing the EKG she looked like she was going to cry. She ran out of the room and I heard a doctor tell her to do another one in ten minutes. Apparently, they decided that was not going to work. I was immediately moved closer to the nurse's station and they began hooking me up to all kinds of monitors. They put a defibrillator in my bed and I started to panic. Luckily, I had Jason by my side, but I told him he better get my mommy there now! They told me I was having a heart attack and needed to get me to a cath lab as quickly as possible. I was wheeled to do a MRI and immediately to the Cath lab. My Mom got there, right before I went in and that was the only time I cried. I didn't have enough time to think of all the options.

The nurses and doctors were great. I was awake the entire time, although they did give me a "cocktail" to calm me down. :) I laid on the table, for I don't know how long, just praying that God would let me make it through and to recover from this. I spent the next day and a half in the icu, was moved to a regular room, and released on Sunday.

My heart attack was caused by a 50% blockage in my right coronary artery. The plaque actually burst, and had I not gone to the hospital, could have continued to burst, which could have caused my artery to burst. I now have two stents in that artery. Luckily, there was no damage to my heart muscle from the attack.

So, since the bomb went off, I have a lot of lifestyle changes to make. Diet, exercise, and staying healthy. I am on a restricted diet and will attend a cardiac rehab to begin exercising and losing weight. God gave me exactly needed to shake out of my food addiction and change my life.

All I want to do is live. I want to marry my boyfriend, buy a house, raise a family someday, and live a long healthy life. That is winning out over anything I could eat.

I will continue to post about my difficulties in changing, I know it is a long road ahead. Part of me feels ashamed that I let my life get to the point of this happening, and is embarrassed to talk about my struggles with weight and food. At the same time, if I can help even 1 person and let people realize that we are never too young and to pay attention to your body, then its worth it. It happened, and now all I can do is change.

Don't ever ignore your gut or your symptoms. Finally paying attention saved my life, and probably could have been prevented even earlier.

So the journey to fix a broken heart begins...